I believe the Lord wants us on a path where we are less likely to say or do the wrong thing, as we deepen our faith, reaching for the Holy Spirit in times of provocation and always remembering we are children of God and saints in His eyes. I have been healing my soul with the guidance of the Holy Spirit since the age of 40, about 32 years ago. Part of my journey is available in my first book of memoirs, Look Backward Angel, an e-book on Amazon:
Other thoughts are available on this blog and in How Did I Get Through This? published on Amazon in 2018. Please see my free sample/preview which is the first few pages of Look Backward Angel above. I believe you will find it feeds your soul.
God bless you and keep you.