What a Character

Lionel Shriver is an American novelist and journalist. She has been oft quoted, and I can see why. I couldn’t help but go the trifecta route. Once just wasn’t enough.

“I never let people get away with using ‘enervated‘ to mean ‘energized,‘ when the word means without energy, thank you very much.” I have never gotten enervated right and likely never will. It makes no sense to me.

“Writing is fundamentally dull, and there are no real secrets to it:You sit down, you type something out, most of the time if you have any self-respect you throw it away.” I must not have any self-respect.

“I am not as nice as I look.” Does she say that to people she has just met?

I think I have been provoked to read some of her work. How about you?

Kinda Tongue in Bearded Cheek

“There was an old man with a beard, who said: ‘It is just as I feared! Two owls and a hen, four larks, and a wren have all built their nests in my beard.” Edward Lear 19th century English author.

It was a sunny day in 1973 that I visited home, and my mother, for the first time, met the bearded version of Bob Rubin. The anguish on her face as she stared at this new facial concoction stunned me.

I guess I must be getting old since I was 28 at the time, and today’s beard fad draws the same reaction for me. How can you cover up your face, diminishing others’ ability to see you and assess your feelings in total?

As I look back on the unforgettable experience 51 years ago, I am reminded that was akin to a bramble bush plastered against my face. It was thick and black and nasty. I guess I am getting old and crusty, but I am at the very least unbearded.

Kindred Spirits, An Initial Look

Adrenaline Junkiedom

Laughter is the Jam

“Laughter is the jam on the toast of life. It adds flavour, keeps it from being too dry, and makes it easier to swallow.” So said Diane Johnson, an American novelist. Lord knows we need it.

When Kristine and I were dating, I was laughing so hard in one movie theater that she was concerned about my health. What a way to go.

Years later, Planes, Trains and Automobiles became my all-time favorite film comedy, and Jerry Seinfeld’s Netflix special in the heart of the pandemic became the funniest stand up I had ever enjoyed in my thankfully long life.

Though I am not fond of reading books twice, I may never get enough of that film or that 🧍‍♂️ up routine.

Life’s Sandwich

“Life is a sandwich of activity between two periods of bed-wetting” Padgett Powell, an American novelist.

As kids in bed, we may have difficulty maintaining control, and as oldsters, we are losing it. They are short, and we are getting shorter. They aren’t in the labor force, and if we are fortunate, we don’t need to be.

But, our similarities can help us connect with our grandkids and have a few laughs over those places where we come up short.

Rainy Days and Tuesdays

“Writing is turning one’s worst moments into money.” “I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own.” The late, Irish-American author, James Patrick Donleavy.

I took my worst (and funniest) moments and turned them into three books of memoir. Turning them into money would be a bit of an overstatement. So as to discontinue that trend, I started writing these blogs free of charge to the reader, a far more successful(?) venture.

My own fragile, 78 year old nature thanks you, fellow humans, for your views, likes, and comments. Rainy days and Tuesdays always get me down.

That Silver Coupe With Red Leather

“I have discovered in my long life that there are many words and phrases which have more power than any spell of magick. The most well-known of these is, of course, I love you. But by far the most deadly is, if only. For these two words can strip a man’s strength, his courage and his confidence. They become the father of regret and anguish and pain.” David Gemmel, the late British author.

If only I had not bought that Lancia Beta Coupe in 1977. Barely any room was left for the human hand under that beautiful silver hood. As a result, when in the shop, we referred to this car as the black hole.

That silver coupe with red leather interior had been so visually appealing, low priced, and its engine sounded vaguely like a bona fide Italian roadster. But, looks can be deceiving. Can’t they.

But the most pain? That was when I waited for the repairman to quote the price, which would provide him with a comfortable retirement.

Stand-up Comedy?

“Stand-up comedy really taught me to do the things that really scare me. Stand-up is terrifying. And the most terrifying moment is the few minutes before your name is announced, when it is being announced, after it’s been announced and as you are walking towards the mic, when the crowd is cheering as you approach the moment. At that moment, you are terrified that will be the biggest and only cheer you get.” Khaya Dlanga, South African writer.

I loved public speaking as a high school debater and since then as an occasional public speaker. I have occasionally said something funny but have a bad habit of laughing at my own lines.

Pure stand-up would terrify me. It requires exquisite timing and little fear. The timing part when tight is what seems insurmountable to me.

Yet, despite the obstacles for many, Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Gaffigan have got it down. Don’t they?

The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Done

“Writing novels is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, including digging irrigation ditches.” Thomad Harrid, an American author.

I could not write a novel on the two occasions that I tried. I am just too short-winded and, in both cases, wrote novelettes.

I’ve never dug an irrigation ditch. At 5 ft. 3 in. and 125 lb., I don’t intend to if I can avoid it.

The hardest thing I’ve ever done is try to win an argument with a teenager. Though, getting accepted to a medical school was a close second.

Who You Are

“To be human is to have a collection of memories that tells you who you are and how you got there.” Rosecrans Baldwin, an American author.

Has anyone ever met a Rosecrans? Unusual name. What were his parents thinking? How painful the playground must have been at school.

Certainly amnesia leaves you floating on a sea of the unknown. But, after publishing 300 pages of memoir, I do have a better handle on my identity.

Last I checked, I am human. Though, I have been accused of worse, particularly by some who have read my memoirs.